


the golden deer secret super chat (or our parents suck at love)

by Daisysmartheart



Series: FE chatfics and spinoffs [5]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Gen, Team as Family, The teachers are Awkward, alluded to nsfw: never outright said but strongly implied, correction: rated t for the black eagles in general too, flayn is a little shit, no mentions of cannon (may change), rated t for Hilda and Claude, sorry if this pops up high in ratings I had to fix a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-09 21:03:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20123800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisysmartheart/pseuds/Daisysmartheart
Summary: The Golden Deer (and their friends) have a secret chat away from the teachers and staff, where they plan what may be their best scheme yet.





	1. Let's start the scheming game.

**Author's Note:**

> Barb: Claude  
Frei: Hilda  
Lionie: Leonie  
wizard of id: Dorothea  
Gay for Dorothea: Ingrid  
fishy: Flayn  
dq blizzard: Marianne

[golden deer secret super chat]

[2:17 pm]

Barb: so.

Lionie: what now claude

Barb: I just saw teach. She was smiling.

Frei: and???? She smiles all the time????

Barb: o shit lemme just

Barb has added [Ingrid, wizard of id, and fishy to golden deer secret super chat]

Frei: and adding them does what exactly???

Barb: ingrid and dorothea joined the class, flayn has Info and was also way overdue to join here. i really should add cyril too but he just lurks anyways

fishy: oh! Does this have to do with that thing we talked about earlier?

Barb: yeah. go nuts lmao, tell them all you know so we/i can start scheming

fishy: well, to put it simply, I am rather close with the professor, and she is rather close with my brother. It's so bad I can taste the romantic tension!

Frei: OH THATS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT

Frei: WELL SHIT LETS DO A THING

dq blizzard: are you sure it's a good idea you guys? i mean… it's their lives, not ours….

fishy: No.

fishy: trust me. They need this.

Ingrid has changed name to [Gay for Dorothea]

Gay for Dorothea: I'm in. Hilda, you can conveniently "show up" with teach right?

Barb: scheming is usually my job but that sounds like a good starting point… flayn if you can convince ur brother to come whenever/wherever you guys decide to bring teach we have a good start.

wizard of id: okay. I can probably think of a couple places. If the others can get them in place, marianne and i can serve as distraction/get them out and alone.

Barb: sounds good. Three days from now, on our free day, unless teach decides to go to battle or something


	2. building up strategies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another scheme, another attempt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barb: Claude  
Frei: Hilda  
Lionie: Leonie  
wizard of id: Dorothea  
Gay for Dorothea: Ingrid  
fishy: Flayn  
dq blizzard: Marianne  
Glossy: Lorenz

[golden deer secret super chat]

[1:49 pm]

Barb: lmao that failed

Frei: no duh dumbass

Gay for Dorothea: well, there goes that plan.

Barb: thankfully I have a new plan!

Lionie: already?? Okay let me just @lorenz

Glossy: I thought I muted this

Barb: well can you at least help us were trying to get teach and the dean's secretary (who we know shes into (thanks flayn)) together

fishy: no problem. I just want this over so I don't have to deal with the pining from both of them

Frei: that's fair tbh

dq blizzard: maybe this time we try not to force it? we made it too obvious….

Frei: MARIANNE YOU'RE A GENIUS

dq blizzard:

Barb: good going hilda, you broke your gf. A perfectly good girl.

Glossy: once again, why the fuck am I here

Lionie: because if im dealing with them so are you

fishy: leonie you love us shut it

Barb: ...the tiny one has sass.

dq blizzard: I thought about it a little! if we make it natural, say, leaving the only two empty seats at the dining hall next to each other (because they always come in late and with each other)

Barb: wait. that last part. what if we're dumb and they're already together?

fishy: you really think professor by would be able to keep quiet about that??? professor balam maybe, but definitely not her. and even if they were do you not think I would know?

Barb: fair lmao, teach is like That™

Frei: so what's our plan? for as much as I like mariannes, it seems random, and we'd need to get a lot of people involved who could leak it

Barb: right, right, well give me a little and I'll see what I can do

[3:52 pm]

Barb: alright @everyone I have an idea. Not a refined one, but an idea

fishy: what's up

Frei: what's your dumb idea this time

dq blizzard: well at least he has one.

Barb: ladies, ladies, don't worry. Basically my idea is simple, we wait for something, anything, to happen, and start a rumor mill. If it gets off the ground and we don't get killed, it's easy to ramp up from things like "they grade work together" to "the real ghost of the science building is them"

fishy: eww. I like it, but ewww.

dq blizzard: I'd have to agree. It seems… rather third grade playground ish of us.

Gay for Dorothea: I'm with Marianne. Knowing Hilda and dorothea tho they're all ears.

Frei: hell yeah I am. @dorothea ?

wizard of id: woops sorry I was hiding my phone from manuela but this sounds great!

Barb: well that's two three for, and three against, counting myself.

fishy: oh no I'm all for it, just maybe wait a while on the whole… sexual thing?

Barb: @everyone this is an acheivement flayn said the s word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raphael and ignatz exist, they just don't want to get involved. they're in the chat and just ignore the @everyone's. They aren't actually together, that's a trope I Actually Despise, and as such won't be using it.


	3. and as such, the plan is put in to effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barb: Claude  
Frei: Hilda  
Lionie: Leonie  
wizard of id: Dorothea  
Gay for Dorothea: Ingrid  
fishy: Flayn  
dq blizzard: Marianne  
Glossy: Lorenz  
Light-sithea: Lysithea  
sweet roll: Annette

[golden deer secret super chat]

[10:27 am]

Light-sithea: guys what the hell happened I was out for three days with no voice what the actual hell happened

Barb: eyyyyy lysitheas back

Light-sithea: yeah

Barb: basically we're (minus raph, lorenz, and ignatz because they dont wanna get involved) trying…. oh never mind just back read

Light-sithea: k

[10:35 am]

Light-sithea: I see

Light-sithea: so what's the plan if the whole gossip thing falls through? We need something Claude. That can only get us so far.

Barb: yeah I know, flayn and I are working on it

fishy: yep! so far so good, just need to figure out when!

Frei: you guys already have most of a plan done????

Barb: yeah! Turns out our resident babie is quite the mischief maker!

fishy: hey! I am not a babie!

Frei: yes. You are.

[11:24 am]

Light-sithea: hey do you mind if I add annette shes in the process of transferring classes end and would love this

Barb: sure why not, the more the merrier and we're down three people, if she's game we break even

Light-sithea has added [sweet roll to golden deer secret super chat]

sweet roll: owo what's this? A chat to scheme in? Count me in!

Barb: lysi have I ever told you I platonically love you???? because I do.

Light-sithea: lmao thanks I guess

Frei: oh hey annette! welcome to the insane group that is the deer. this is our private chat away from the teachers lmao, mostly used for stuff like this!

dq blizzard: it's normally a lot less crazy… when flayn and claude have ideas it gets like this…

sweet roll: that's fine! This is the sorta stuff I joined this class for! Hijinks and insanity!

Frei: good. There's a lot to go around.

[6:18 pm]

fishy: WE'VE DONE IT!

fishy: it took almost half our classes of hiding phones and dms but we! did! it!

Barb: she's not wrong lol. but at last, we have a back up plan that involves a lot of convoluted mini plans!

Frei: does this mean we have the go for gossip?

Barb: go hog wild hil!

Frei: hell yes. @dorothea let's get to work


	4. Black Eagles Paralogue {1}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every so often, we're gonna drift to the other houses and the staff, just to mix things up and show the effects of what the deer are doing! First off, the Eagles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Queen Crimson: Edelgard  
wizard of id: Dorothea  
Church: Bernadetta  
sweepy: Linhardt  
resident good boy: Caspar  
petrol: Petra  
the prep's goth: Hubert  
the goth's prep: Ferdinand

[Black Eagles Groupchat]

[12:28 am]

sweepy: why the hell do i hear noise from down the hall it is half past twelve you dumb bitches

Queen Crimson: ...goddess damnit. Ferdinand, Hubert, if you two show up to breakfast @ the same time tomorrow you're both dead to me.

sweepy: lmao

sweepy: wait does that mean

wizard of id: yes, yes linhardt it means exactly what you think it means

Queen Crimson has muted [Black Eagles Groupchat until 9:30 am with the message 'go to sleep, _ or else _ '__

_ _[9:30 am]_ _

_ _wizard of id: finally we're free edie can I tell you what I heard @ the gd table_ _

_ _Queen Crimson: sure what is it?_ _

_ _wizard of id: 'perantly professor and Ms. Rhea's sec have a thing for each other, heard it from hilda tho so not very credible_ _

_ _Queen Crimson: oh my! This could be interesting, but knowing Hilda it probably isn't true, you have a point._ _

_ _Ferdie has changed name to [the goth's prep]_ _

_ _the goth's prep has changed Hubie 's name to [the prep's goth]_ _

_ _Queen Crimson: @hubert ur dead to me, bitch._ _

_ _wizard of id: ah ferdie!!!! I'm so happy for you two!!!!_ _

_ _Church: the duality of wlw friends lol, glad I'm not on ur floor_ _

_ _sweepy: yeah, very lucky. if you two thought you had any definition of the word quiet, despite huberts,,, everything, you don't._ _

_ _the prep's goth: you mean ferdinand doesn't._ _

_ _Queen Crimson: ...no longer as mad but still. Why? At school? The weekend break- oh wait that's dumb as shit sorry_ _

_ _the goth's prep: np edel! it's not ur fault our dads are homophobic douchebags_ _

_ _sweepy: @caspar come over here I'm tired_ _

_ _resident good boy: kay linny, be right over!_ _

_ _wizard of id: oh good we have one pair of soft mlm and one pair of emo mlm_ _

_ _the prep's goth: dorothea normally id hate you for that but at this point are you really wrong?_ _

_ _wizard of id: hah told you I could make him soft edie!_ _

_ _Queen Crimson: pfft, good job._ _

_ _the prep's goth: fuck I thought she had group dmd us_ _

_ _wizard of id: why the fuck- hubert you're very smart but also one of the dumbest fucking people I know_ _

_ _petrol: huh? How? Is that not contradictory?_ _

_ _wizard of id: figure of speech petra_ _

_ _petrol: oh! Okay!_ _

_ _wizard of id: well speaking of what was going on before my gbf told us he had a bf what if the professor actually _ does _ have a thing for him??? it'd make sense, but I mean, shes the definition of socially awkward___ _

_ _ _ _Queen Crimson: idk but we have class in 5 minutes you guys had better be there, bernie has an exception because she's taking the online course but the rest of you had best damn be there._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dorothea is chaotic and in both chats, still an honorary eagle even though she's in the deer now, same for Ingrid and Annette!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is gonna be a thing! Very much a slowburn, 9/10ths the kids trying (and failing) 1/10th awkward times with the adults


End file.
